29
Sep
Clay of Adam, surrender your bond unto me!

SPN Countdown Challenge | day 11

[13/23] Spells, Curses & Ganking - 8x13 Everybody Hates Hitler

previous

That’s my grandfather. He left me something important.Something only I can do.

One episode ago, the Winchesters were introduced to the legacy of the paternal side of their family by their grandfather Henry. The Bunker with its tomes of supernatural lore are introduced to us the viewer at the start of the episode. That idea of legacy, of inheritance is reflected in the case of the week.

Like Sam and Dean with the Men of Letters, Aaron Bass has no idea what his place in his family’s legacy was. Lack of information and disbelief kept him from knowing the truth. As a result, he literally smoked the knowledge that would have helped him control the Golem from the get-go. He has cut himself off, made choices he regrets. It is only when he is about to lose it all, that he comes to  take up the mantle of responsibility through choice.

It is fitting that once he takes possession of the Golem, it is through written word. Writing his name on that scroll and placing it in the Golem’s mouth is making himself part of the Golem. It belongs with him, inside him. This is a wonderful piece of foreshadowing for Cas running with the angel tablet, which he literally hides inside himself. But where the Golem knew he needed his human, Cas initially runs away from his and ultimately causes the angels to fall.

This episode is all about belonging. Belonging to a blood-line, a family, Belonging to something bigger in the world. Belonging to someone because you choose to belong with them. Family is choice. Acceptance of them is acceptance of the history that comes with them. Like Aaron, the Winchester are faced with a choice when it comes to the Bunker. Like Aaron they will choose knowledge.

That’s my grandfather. He left me something important.Something only I can do.

posted 8 hours ago @ 11:30 pm with 14 notes
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#SPN10 Countdown Challenge
29
Sep

Wow. I am blown away by the promo. Scared, sad, more than a little bit disturbed, but mostly blown away. How can a show still do that after 9 seasons??

posted 9 hours ago @ 10:30 pm with 9 notes
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#supernatural #8 days....
29
Sep

yaelstiel:

Supernatural 10x01 Sneak Peek - Black

reblogged 9 hours ago @ 10:25 pm with 4,765 notes via/source
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#jfc Sammy #what the fuck #gulps #supernatural spoilers #season 10 spoilers
29
Sep

gladosinabox:

cuddlechester:

palecream:

it takes ten seconds to tag something and forty five minutes to hours to calm down from a panic attack. think about that for a second 

and totally feel comfortable enough to ask me to tag something that bothers you bc there are so many things that trigger people that i wouldn’t even think about and i’m sorry if i do that but let me know!

Please tell me if you need something tagged. Please please please. I will without any hesitation.

reblogged 14 hours ago @ 05:16 pm with 116,574 notes via/source
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28
Sep
« .
posted 1 day ago @ 09:12 pm with 1 note
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#hi all #needed a bit of a break from everything #but am back now #will do my best to catch up on the countdown #I can't believe how close we are!!
26
Sep

elizabethrobertajones:

sleepsintheimpala:

Secura tibi facias libertate. Servire, te rogamus, audi nos.

SPN10 Countdown Challenge | day 12

[12/23] Spells, Curses & Ganking - 8x12 As Time Goes By

previous

It’s a blood sigil. Blood leads to blood. Or their next of kin.

There is no episode in the Carver-era, in my opinion at least, that was as game-changing as As Time Goes By. With the introduction of the Men of Letters and the mentioning of the Bunker containing the supernatural mother-load, a whole new set of possibilities including a potential end-game for the Winchesters is set up.

Ironically for an episode that opens up so much, the spell and curses used all seem to be focused on being trapped. Abaddon is caught inside her meat-suit Josie Sands by means of the devil’s trap bullet. The shop assistant is trapped inside her own mind through sleep. And then there is the Blood Sigil.

The shape of the sigil looks like an infinity symbol to me; blood will always lead to blood. But looking at the Winchesters’ lives I cannot help but think that this does not only refer to blood in the sense of family, but also the spilling of blood. In fact, before the episode is done, Henry Winchester will have bled to death in the arms of his blood-relations. Blood will always lead to blood, but that isn’t necessarily a good thing. Looking at the sigil in the most positive way, it represents the idea of “Winchesters. As long as we’re alive, there’s always hope.” Legacies acting as sentinels in the fight between the supernatural and humanity. Yet, I read it a little darker than that.

As soon as Henry finds out what happened to John he is willing to risk everything, use the symbol to return to his son and potentially upset history with devastating consequences. In retrospect, this sets up the Crowley/Gavin story-line nicely (we’re bound to explore this further in season 10 given how in s8 Carver specifically focuses our attention to the consequences of “freakin’ time-travel”), but in the context of season 8, it creates a sad parallel with Dean and Sam’s relationship; Dean turns out to be as incapable of letting his “son” go as Henry is and is willing to accept any and all consequences as well.

Moreover, for Sam and Dean being a Winchester has been a curse more than a blessing. As the Then explicitly reminds us, the marriage of John and Mary Winchester was arranged by Heaven as the Winchester brothers had to be born in order for the Apocalypse to be brought about. Through the machinations of the angels, Sam and Dean were caught by their own blood-line and nearly forced into their Heaven-orchastrated destinies rather than being able to exercise free will.

The moment Henry Winchester falls out of the closet (excuse me while I laugh forever) and into Sam and Dean’s lives, another consequence of blood-ties is revealed.They are apparently Legacies. Rather than being hunters, they should have become Men of Letters. What I like about the fact that they were not, is that, however painful the route has been, they now have the opportunity to choose that particular endgame rather than being forced into it because of heredity.

Lastly, looking back at this episode with the knowledge of season 9 events, it also reconnects us with the idea that Sam and Dean are direct descendants of Cain and Abel. To be honest, I have not seen any meta on whether the fact that Dean took to the Mark the way he did is because, albeit with generation upon generation between them, he is connected to Cain through blood as well. If so, it would be another example of the Winchesters being caught by the restrictions of blood-lines that have been dictated to them rather than chosen.

Family don’t end with blood for the Winchesters, but blood sure isn’t making their lives easier either.

It’s a blood sigil. Blood leads to blood. Or their next of kin.

I always wondered why the spell skipped over John - I mean for obvious plot reasons this had to happen in the middle of season 8 because that’s when they decided to have the plot arc start. But I think if we ignore the outside influence on the timing, maybe it’s something you touched on there. John wasn’t a MoL or Sam and Dean, but maybe the spell took Henry to the Winchesters who would be best served to help him: John was ignorant of the life and then on a single-minded revenge mission, and I wonder if the spell skipped him entirely because he would not have been able to adequately help. Not like Sam and Dean did much better, but they were in the position. They were also, for the first time in the show, kind of cut loose at that point. There’s a story arc around them but it’s only just starting, and the gap in their storyline between 7 & 8 sort of wiped things clean for them: for the first time they’re able to start thinking about their futures and start deciding what they want because they’re (relatively) unaffected by the push and pull of destiny at that point. It’s not until they start self-inflicting themselves with it by trials or MoC that they get dragged back into the myth arcs - both things they did by choice rather than something forced on them, as the plot all through seasons 1-5, and season 6 & 7 were a sort of game of consequences started by the aftermath of the apocalypse.

I think you’re onto something with this being their moment to decide what they want for their future and even though they’re legacies they weren’t forced into it. It came to them, it’s been presented to them, and Henry crashed into their lives at exactly the point when they could begin thinking about what they really wanted from life. Totally deliberate on the part of the spell, even if it was unintended on Henry’s part.

reblogged 3 days ago @ 10:53 pm with 207 notes via/source
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#reblogging for addition #which expresses it clearer than I did #awesome addtions are awesome
26
Sep
Secura tibi facias libertate. Servire, te rogamus, audi nos.

SPN10 Countdown Challenge | day 12

[12/23] Spells, Curses & Ganking - 8x12 As Time Goes By

previous

It’s a blood sigil. Blood leads to blood. Or their next of kin.

There is no episode in the Carver-era, in my opinion at least, that was as game-changing as As Time Goes By. With the introduction of the Men of Letters and the mentioning of the Bunker containing the supernatural mother-load, a whole new set of possibilities including a potential end-game for the Winchesters is set up.

Ironically for an episode that opens up so much, the spell and curses used all seem to be focused on being trapped. Abaddon is caught inside her meat-suit Josie Sands by means of the devil’s trap bullet. The shop assistant is trapped inside her own mind through sleep. And then there is the Blood Sigil.

The shape of the sigil looks like an infinity symbol to me; blood will always lead to blood. But looking at the Winchesters’ lives I cannot help but think that this does not only refer to blood in the sense of family, but also the spilling of blood. In fact, before the episode is done, Henry Winchester will have bled to death in the arms of his blood-relations. Blood will always lead to blood, but that isn’t necessarily a good thing. Looking at the sigil in the most positive way, it represents the idea of “Winchesters. As long as we’re alive, there’s always hope.” Legacies acting as sentinels in the fight between the supernatural and humanity. Yet, I read it a little darker than that.

As soon as Henry finds out what happened to John he is willing to risk everything, use the symbol to return to his son and potentially upset history with devastating consequences. In retrospect, this sets up the Crowley/Gavin story-line nicely (we’re bound to explore this further in season 10 given how in s8 Carver specifically focuses our attention to the consequences of “freakin’ time-travel”), but in the context of season 8, it creates a sad parallel with Dean and Sam’s relationship; Dean turns out to be as incapable of letting his “son” go as Henry is and is willing to accept any and all consequences as well.

Moreover, for Sam and Dean being a Winchester has been a curse more than a blessing. As the Then explicitly reminds us, the marriage of John and Mary Winchester was arranged by Heaven as the Winchester brothers had to be born in order for the Apocalypse to be brought about. Through the machinations of the angels, Sam and Dean were caught by their own blood-line and nearly forced into their Heaven-orchastrated destinies rather than being able to exercise free will.

The moment Henry Winchester falls out of the closet (excuse me while I laugh forever) and into Sam and Dean’s lives, another consequence of blood-ties is revealed.They are apparently Legacies. Rather than being hunters, they should have become Men of Letters. What I like about the fact that they were not, is that, however painful the route has been, they now have the opportunity to choose that particular endgame rather than being forced into it because of heredity.

Lastly, looking back at this episode with the knowledge of season 9 events, it also reconnects us with the idea that Sam and Dean are direct descendants of Cain and Abel. To be honest, I have not seen any meta on whether the fact that Dean took to the Mark the way he did is because, albeit with generation upon generation between them, he is connected to Cain through blood as well. If so, it would be another example of the Winchesters being caught by the restrictions of blood-lines that have been dictated to them rather than chosen.

Family don’t end with blood for the Winchesters, but blood sure isn’t making their lives easier either.

It’s a blood sigil. Blood leads to blood. Or their next of kin.

posted 3 days ago @ 10:19 pm with 207 notes
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#SPN10 Countdown Challenge #ramblings
26
Sep

yaelstiel:

SPN10 countdown challenge | 11 days to go | S08E11

↳ Look, we have both had a rough go over these past couple of weeks. And, uh… I know what you gave up wasn’t easy. Maybe we ought to take the night off – go see a flick, hit a bar or two, have some fun. You remember fun, don’t you, Sammy?

Dean needed this brotherly fun, he asked for it at the beginning of this case, but he felt it wasn’t in place for Sam, so when the day ended, he swallowed his wishes, his desire for some good fun with his brother whom he’d missed so much, and he apologized for suggesting it. But Sam knows his brother, and he knows that even if he doesn’t feel like it right now, it’s something Dean needs, it’s something they both need. ‘Shall we?’ Sam asks, and you need only to look at Dean’s face and see the relief and the trace of the happy smile to realize how much he needed this. They both did. 

reblogged 3 days ago @ 09:33 pm with 1,751 notes via/source
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#yeah #LARP and the Real Girl remains fairly awesome no matter which way you look at it
26
Sep
pirrofarfalla:


Celebrating Supernatural - 23 Day Countdown ChallengeDay 11 - Episode 13Theme - Dean Winchester's Journal

I don’t break easy. I may be a broken man, but I’m just human. We’re all just broken in our own ways. But a guy can only take so much before he just breaks down..into nothing. Before he’s barely even alive anymore. I’ve surprised myself. I can admit that I’m stronger than I thought I was. Thirty years on the rack to break. Thirty-five years of actual life to break completely. In comparison, I did pretty damned good. Every hit – Sam dying, jumpstarting the Apocalypse, Sam fucking dying again, Cas dying, Bobby dying, Cas dying, coming back and then fucking leaving me, almost losing Sam again – I thought Kevin dying and losing my brother because of the choices that I made…I thought that was the nail in the coffin. I didn’t think I could possibly fall any farther. But this…this is an entire lifetime of some goddamned delusion of mine that just got shattered. And just like that, I’m back on that rack. Not carving souls, but being carved. And Alastair is whispering in my ear all my failures. And now I know, without a doubt, that he’s right. That it’s truth. It’s demonic freakin’ gospel. And so I break. And so everything just fucking breaks.
If the situation were reversed and I was dying, Sam wouldn’t choose me. He’d choose to save the world. Because he’s seen the consequences of choosing family, of choosing each other, over everything else. And you know what? I should be mad. I should be fuckin’ livid that Sam could look me in the eyes and tell me that I’m not worth it. But I’m not. Because I’m not. I’m not worth it. I never choose to save myself, I wouldn’t really expect him to either. I guess I’m just…heartbroken. I think that’s what they’d call it. I was living on this fucked up delusion that I meant more than that to my little brother. That..I dunno..at some point over the course of our fucked up lives, I did something right, something that he loved me for, and that would be enough. That it would be my saving friggin’ grace. That he would save me when I needed him to. But he won’t. And he shouldn’t. And I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I just… He was right. About everything. I don’t wanna be alone. I can’t. I don’t know how to be alone. Alone and alive is fucking terrifying to me. I can’t be alone. Not since Hell. Not since Purgatory. Before all that,  I could drown everything out in sex and fucking decadence, but now it’s too goddamned loud in my head and I can’t live with that all by myself. Having Sam there, having Cas there – it’s always made it easier. But it doesn’t matter. There’s still all that background noise and every voice is still screaming out my fucking solitude. That I’m in Hell. That I am Hell. 
Sam was wrong about a few things, though. I don’t think I’m a hero. I’m not some goddamned martyr looking for sainthood. I’m just a guy looking for some fucking forgiveness. I just…I just wanted to do something fucking right, you know? I’ve lived a lifetime of failure, but Sammy…he’s the hero. He can get out of this and live. Like, really live. Fall in love, have a family. Hell, he can keep doing the whole Men of Letters deal on his own. I don’t care. I just want him to be happy, whatever that means for him. I do what I do…I make the choices I make because he deserves it. Sam deserved to be saved. I do what I do because no one else, not even fucking God, will save this kid. And that’s just wrong. I know what my little brother is worth. He can break my heart into however many fuckin’ pieces he wants but that don’t change the fact that we’re family and I love him and I’m always going to do whatever it is that I have to do to keep saving him. Even if he hates me for it. Even if he never loved me at all. I’m still gonna do it. Because I love him. Because it doesn’t freakin’ matter that I’m the big brother in this. I still look up to him. He’s the hero. He’s always been the hero. And I will never regret doing what I had to so that he could go on living. 
Sam was wrong about the hurt, too. He thinks that sacrifice is about me saving myself from pain. That it’s about being selfish. And yeah, I am selfish. I dragged him back into the world with an angel riding his ass. And that’s wrong. I know. But it wasn’t about saving myself from pain. Every second of my life since making that choice to save Sam has been pain. Hurt..pain..that’s easy to deal with. I know pain. I am pain. He doesn’t get that it’s not about being afraid to be alone or being afraid to hurt. He doesn’t get that I make these choices because I don’t deserve to be alive. That I should have stayed dead. That I may have clawed my way out of my own goddamned grave but my soul…Hell crawled out of that grave with me. And it’s inside me. And it’s taunting me, and screaming always fucking screaming and every fucking soul I’ve ever cut into is begging for mercy and I don’t know what the fuck mercy is and there is  no goddamned salvation for the monster that I was fucking carved into. Sam will never, ever fucking understand that. Because I never told him. Because I can’t tell him. He can’t know how fucking…He can’t know that I’m barely even human anymore, that every single day that I’m alive is another day on the rack in my friggin’ head. He can’t know that. And he doesn’t. Because I deserve this. I need this. This is who I am. I deserve to burn in Hell for the things that I’ve done. And I do burn. The Mark..it’s my hellfire. And it feels damned good to burn for my own sins. 
I probably should have told Sam. If I told him what I felt, what I hear… If I told him about the burning, and the blood, and the sulfur and the ache and the need and the itching fucking hunger for something I don’t even understand and all the screaming All the goddamned screaming Maybe he could help me Maybe he could see that I was never absolving myself in his friggin salvation That it was all my fucking damnation and I’m hangin on my own fuckin crucifix here and I need somebody to cut me down before I just fucking bleed to death or burn alive And Sammy could fix it if I told him He could…
                                                                                                             He could..
He wouldn’t. And he shouldn’t. 
I made this choice because my brother deserved to be saved. I made a mess of fucking everything. But I’m cleaning up house. I have my mission. I will find Gadreel, and I’ll end him. And then I’ll string Metatron up by his fucking sweater vest and teach a fake god the meaning of pain. But first… First I’m gonna find Abaddon. And I’m gonna cut her down to her knees. Down into nothing. Just cut and slice and stab and tear and rip that dirty fucking demon apart. And I just need the Blade. I need my fucking Blade. And I need… I need. I need to tear them all apart. I need it my fucking veins. It’s hunger. The hunger I’ve been missing since Hell. It’s here, inside me. And it’s keeping me alive. It’s pushing everything else out. Because I have a mission. I have a purpose now. And then the screaming, the begging, the human fucking condition – it’ll all be over. 
Clarity. 
A moment of blessed fuckin’ clarity.
I need to make another supply run. One bottle of Hunter’s Helper down and I don’t feel a goddamned thing.

Back to Episode 12

pirrofarfalla:

Celebrating Supernatural - 
23 Day Countdown Challenge
Day 11 - Episode 13
Theme - Dean Winchester's Journal

I don’t break easy. I may be a broken man, but I’m just human. We’re all just broken in our own ways. But a guy can only take so much before he just breaks down..into nothing. Before he’s barely even alive anymore. I’ve surprised myself. I can admit that I’m stronger than I thought I was. Thirty years on the rack to break. Thirty-five years of actual life to break completely. In comparison, I did pretty damned good. Every hit – Sam dying, jumpstarting the Apocalypse, Sam fucking dying again, Cas dying, Bobby dying, Cas dying, coming back and then fucking leaving me, almost losing Sam again – I thought Kevin dying and losing my brother because of the choices that I made…I thought that was the nail in the coffin. I didn’t think I could possibly fall any farther. But this…this is an entire lifetime of some goddamned delusion of mine that just got shattered. And just like that, I’m back on that rack. Not carving souls, but being carved. And Alastair is whispering in my ear all my failures. And now I know, without a doubt, that he’s right. That it’s truth. It’s demonic freakin’ gospel. And so I break. And so everything just fucking breaks.

If the situation were reversed and I was dying, Sam wouldn’t choose me. He’d choose to save the world. Because he’s seen the consequences of choosing family, of choosing each other, over everything else. And you know what? I should be mad. I should be fuckin’ livid that Sam could look me in the eyes and tell me that I’m not worth it. But I’m not. Because I’m not. I’m not worth it. I never choose to save myself, I wouldn’t really expect him to either. I guess I’m just…heartbroken. I think that’s what they’d call it. I was living on this fucked up delusion that I meant more than that to my little brother. That..I dunno..at some point over the course of our fucked up lives, I did something right, something that he loved me for, and that would be enough. That it would be my saving friggin’ grace. That he would save me when I needed him to. But he won’t. And he shouldn’t. And I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I just… He was right. About everything. I don’t wanna be alone. I can’t. I don’t know how to be alone. Alone and alive is fucking terrifying to me. I can’t be alone. Not since Hell. Not since Purgatory. Before all that,  I could drown everything out in sex and fucking decadence, but now it’s too goddamned loud in my head and I can’t live with that all by myself. Having Sam there, having Cas there – it’s always made it easier. But it doesn’t matter. There’s still all that background noise and every voice is still screaming out my fucking solitude. That I’m in Hell. That I am Hell. 

Sam was wrong about a few things, though. I don’t think I’m a hero. I’m not some goddamned martyr looking for sainthood. I’m just a guy looking for some fucking forgiveness. I just…I just wanted to do something fucking right, you know? I’ve lived a lifetime of failure, but Sammy…he’s the hero. He can get out of this and live. Like, really live. Fall in love, have a family. Hell, he can keep doing the whole Men of Letters deal on his own. I don’t care. I just want him to be happy, whatever that means for him. I do what I do…I make the choices I make because he deserves it. Sam deserved to be saved. I do what I do because no one else, not even fucking God, will save this kid. And that’s just wrong. I know what my little brother is worth. He can break my heart into however many fuckin’ pieces he wants but that don’t change the fact that we’re family and I love him and I’m always going to do whatever it is that I have to do to keep saving him. Even if he hates me for it. Even if he never loved me at all. I’m still gonna do it. Because I love him. Because it doesn’t freakin’ matter that I’m the big brother in this. I still look up to him. He’s the hero. He’s always been the hero. And I will never regret doing what I had to so that he could go on living. 

Sam was wrong about the hurt, too. He thinks that sacrifice is about me saving myself from pain. That it’s about being selfish. And yeah, I am selfish. I dragged him back into the world with an angel riding his ass. And that’s wrong. I know. But it wasn’t about saving myself from pain. Every second of my life since making that choice to save Sam has been pain. Hurt..pain..that’s easy to deal with. I know pain. I am pain. He doesn’t get that it’s not about being afraid to be alone or being afraid to hurt. He doesn’t get that I make these choices because I don’t deserve to be alive. That I should have stayed dead. That I may have clawed my way out of my own goddamned grave but my soul…Hell crawled out of that grave with me. And it’s inside me. And it’s taunting me, and screaming always fucking screaming and every fucking soul I’ve ever cut into is begging for mercy and I don’t know what the fuck mercy is and there is  no goddamned salvation for the monster that I was fucking carved into. Sam will never, ever fucking understand that. Because I never told him. Because I can’t tell him. He can’t know how fucking…He can’t know that I’m barely even human anymore, that every single day that I’m alive is another day on the rack in my friggin’ head. He can’t know that. And he doesn’t. Because I deserve this. I need this. This is who I am. I deserve to burn in Hell for the things that I’ve done. And I do burn. The Mark..it’s my hellfire. And it feels damned good to burn for my own sins. 

I probably should have told Sam. If I told him what I felt, what I hear…
If I told him about the burning, and the blood, and the sulfur and the ache and the need and the itching fucking hunger for something I don’t even understand and all the screaming All the goddamned screaming Maybe he could help me Maybe he could see that I was never absolving myself in his friggin salvation That it was all my fucking damnation and I’m hangin on my own fuckin crucifix here and I need somebody to cut me down before I just fucking bleed to death or burn alive And Sammy could fix it if I told him He could…

                                                                                                             He could..

He wouldn’t. And he shouldn’t. 

I made this choice because my brother deserved to be saved. I made a mess of fucking everything. But I’m cleaning up house. I have my mission. I will find Gadreel, and I’ll end him. And then I’ll string Metatron up by his fucking sweater vest and teach a fake god the meaning of pain. But first… First I’m gonna find Abaddon. And I’m gonna cut her down to her knees. Down into nothing. Just cut and slice and stab and tear and rip that dirty fucking demon apart. And I just need the Blade. I need my fucking Blade. And I need… I need. I need to tear them all apart. I need it my fucking veins. It’s hunger. The hunger I’ve been missing since Hell. It’s here, inside me. And it’s keeping me alive. It’s pushing everything else out. Because I have a mission. I have a purpose now. And then the screaming, the begging, the human fucking condition – it’ll all be over. 

Clarity. 

A moment of blessed fuckin’ clarity.

I need to make another supply run.
One bottle of Hunter’s Helper down and I don’t feel a goddamned thing.

Back to Episode 12

reblogged 3 days ago @ 03:12 pm with 297 notes via/source
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#dammit Lexa .....
26
Sep
nosignofwings:

So whisper that you notice me.

castiel graphics challenge nosignofwings vs. mirthfulcasprompt: thunder, a symbol of god's voice

nosignofwings:

So whisper that you notice me.
castiel graphics challenge 
nosignofwings vs. mirthfulcas
prompt: thunder, a symbol of god's voice
reblogged 3 days ago @ 10:19 am with 1,356 notes via/source
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#wow #incredible gif is incredible
25
Sep

yaelstiel:

As Time Goes By (8.12)

I love how they listen to each other without freaking out, even though for Dean, hearing what Sam said could make him really angry in behalf of John, he doesn’t. he listen, then he replies, he says what he believe in, that dad has always been there for them, and even though I don’t think Sam agrees, he let that be. he listens, and observes. 

reblogged 4 days ago @ 11:41 pm with 2,303 notes via/source
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#Winchester & Winchester #at some point though #they are going to have to finish this conversatio #calm and listening to each other #but John's ghost still lingers in bad ways #and they are going to have to square that some day #lets hope it will be like this
25
Sep

yaelstiel:

Never ending list of favorite scenes 7/   [ Sacrifice ]   

I’m just in love with every little bit of this scene. I love Dean’s victory smile, I love his snarky speech, and I love the boys kicking ass by being smart. This is precious. 

reblogged 4 days ago @ 11:37 pm with 1,927 notes via/source
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#sighs #if only you had known
25
Sep

#SPN 10 countdown challenge  |  day 13 - episode 13, season 4
I want to be normal.

reblogged 4 days ago @ 11:35 pm with 2,437 notes via/source
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#ouch #hugs Sam fiercely
25
Sep
reblogged 4 days ago @ 11:29 pm with 2,580 notes via/source
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#accurate
25
Sep

elizabethrobertajones:

campchitaquamemories:

elizabethrobertajones:

it felt pure.

Team Puratory is probably my favourite story. They were there a whole year and we get like barely an episode worth of flashbacks all cobbled together. In Dean and Cas’s case still the most important (and transformative) thing that happened to them both together and individually basically since the Apocalypse.

I just… sometimes as much as I wish we knew more about that year, sometimes that 3-word quote is all we really need to know.

Purgatory yeah it was pure you idiots that’s literally what the name means that’s the entire point of Purgatory pfft I’m glad the show subtextually handled it as a cleansing arc for them even if on the surface it was just blah blah monsters blah blah vague reference to penance Cas knew what was up with it I wonder if he thinks about how Dean couldn’t leave him behind I think the way he didn’t tell Dean he was staying is very telling it was Dean’s penance to find Cas and finally heal the scars from season 6 that was what he had to do in Purgatory he couldn’t leave until it was done subconsciously he was not allowing himself out And Sam just waltzed in and out for all the rubbish in 8x23 Sam has nothing on his conscience in the same way I refuse to believe Dean could have physically left Purgatory any earlier if Benny had frogmarched him to the portal on his first week so many Purgatory thoughts (via elizabethrobertajones)

I would love to hear more about this. I’ve never thought of Purgatory like that before.

Well, since you literally just followed me so I’m trying to make a good impression… :P

Purgatory is another of those things that the show completely mangled from its original purpose for the sake of the story. In this case, since the show’s mythos includes monsters, which the real world doesn’t, and they were too lazy to come up with a unique “monster hell” kind of place, they just slapped the name of an actual afterlife realm onto their made up construct, and for season 6 and 7 all the suggestion is it’s literally just for monsters, and they ignore absolutely all the actual lore about it.

REAL Purgatory is a construct pretty much of the Catholic church as a sort of waiting room before Heaven; a place where the kind of torment of Hell is dished out, but to penitent sinners who will one day be worthy of moving on to Heaven. It’s a transitional state and basically the biggest money making scam of the middle ages - the church sold you get out of Purgatory free cards and the more money you paid them for (I think they were actually called indulgences? I’m 3-4 years out of my Medieval history classes) the less time you spent there.

Basically: evil people, demons, heathens etc with no chance went to Hell, saintly people went right up to Heaven, but pretty much everyone else, even good Christians who’d done a few bad things - like being physically unable to uphold all the contradictory and impossible rules in the Bible, so EVERYONE - went to Purgatory on their way to Heaven. It worked like Hell does in Supernatural: because if you were a real dick but would one day be worthy of Heaven, you could spend literally a trillion years in Purgatory before Judgement Day, even though by Earth’s calendar that was always marked down as some time in the next couple of years as far as Christianity was concerned. In Supernatural it’s sort of funny to me that Purgatory seems to run on a normal calendar since I went into it with all this in my head.

Anywho, all the punishment in Purgatory was believed to be for the express purpose of cleansing a soul, and “purgatory” even comes from the word “purge”. So when they say “it was pure” they are literally naming Purgatory over again without realising it.

However seeing as I had all this knowledge in my head when season 8 was airing, I sussed immediately that Cas *got* Purgatory so I read into it as literal Purgatory the whole time that season. He wanted to stay as a punishment, and he even talks about penance a lot, and it’s basically all he actually wants out of the season after he’s yanked out of Purgatory. I can tell that the show couldn’t actually go around and change Purgatory into the Christian Purgatory because the monster lore was already written into it and they can’t retcon something so wildly. So, no humans on their way to Heaven. But it absolutely served its purpose metaphorically.

I think each character went in there with their own penance (let’s ignore Benny since he’s awesome and all but a monster and their souls are trapped in there with no chance of escape - his “it’s a human portal” line is one of the biggest things that tipped me off, aside from Cas’s attitude towards Purgatory, that they were subtextually using it as Real Purgatory). 

Basically, Sam’s easy: he walks in and out in a day and doesn’t even spend all his vacation time on Purgatory. Season 8 was bookended with Dean guilt-tripping Sam about not looking for him and Kevin and then all the stuff he throws at him when talking about Sam confessing, but Sam admits there was only 1 thing he truly felt he needed to confess to. His penance was something that still lived on Earth, and therefore there was literally nothing that Purgatory could offer him in the way of cleansing his guilt/sins, especially as he was *already* on a God-level cleansing mission when he went in there. So, he got spat out immediately. I think it’s important that he had to use the portal despite going in there not thinking he had to: it sort of shows Purgatory willingly disgorging him and telling him there’s nothing for him to be ashamed of.

Cas chooses to stay in Purgatory, and he alone actually understands its purpose: he knows it’s purifying him, because he was crazy before he went in and sane the moment his feet hit the floor. It’s like in LOST where Locke knows something’s special about the Island because he was in a wheelchair before but could walk the moment they crashed (the LOST island basically was Purgatory metaphorically as well and whatever the show went with it was such a popular theory because it was also serving the same purpose for its characters). Anyway. Purgatory immediately removed the blockage to Cas facing what he felt were his greatest shames: not long before he’d been trying to apologise via boardgame and was told “You’re just playing sorry” and oh my god, once you’ve read my headcanons on Purgatory go watch the boardgame conversation with Dean and see it through this filter, it’s FANTASTIC.

Anyway, he can understand what it’s done/doing for him, and of the 3 characters he’s definitely done the worst in sheer numbers/awfulness scale. He’s never been given a real chance to atone for season 6; what he did with Sam and the hell visions only scratches the surface of the problems *just* between him and the Winchesters, while there’s also the entire universe holding a reckoning against him.

When Naomi pulls Cas out, she has this hold over him and while she lets him run free to continue his penance, of healing and helping where he can, I’m sure her hold was so strong because of the guilt trip, and her stepping in as a sort of proxy-Purgatory. Her missions were meant to be an atonement - she pulls him out of Purgatory to start using him for her own ends. Cas breaking the connection can be seen as him also finally having Purgatory let him go: by not killing Dean and realising what it genuinely important to him, by *choosing* between Heaven and Dean, he understands where his heart lies, and for the first time he can even begin to come to terms with his guilt for breaking Heaven, because he’s realised there is something more important. Once he realises that the need to atone drops away a little, and while it still motivates him right through to at least the end of season 9, he’s beginning to draw away from that and let the guilt go piece by piece, judging by how much easier it was for him to pick Dean at the end of 9x22. As he was taken out of Purgatory before he was ready, though, it’s much harder for him to let go immediately.

Now, Dean in season 7 is a wreck we largely agree was caused by the end of season 6 and not stopping Cas; his season 7 guilt trip gets worse when he kills Amy Pond because he sees her as a proxy-Cas: he can stop her before she kills again when he couldn’t stop Cas, but that just leads to it eating him up more. With the judgement episode in season 7 we’re basically getting Dean coded as guilty as hell, and most of that is goes right back to his Cas trauma even if the series never directly addresses it. So although he begins to get over that towards the end of the season once Cas is alive and heals Sam, Cas is crazy too much for him to have the 2-way conversation he needs to have to finish the forgiveness/letting go of guilt process. He goes into Purgatory weighed down by Cas. I think it’s also important that Sam has no magical narrative attached to him before this time: there’s nothing worrying about him compelling Dean to go back, and it means the narrative squarely puts his issues he goes to Purgatory for on Cas.

We see a lot of comments that Dean was willing to stay in Purgatory and look for Cas instead of hastening it out of there to find Sam. I think it’s not that simple, if we assume Purgatory is being sneakily written as literal Purgatory; like I said in those tags, I don’t think Dean could have left. He needed to find Cas, but more importantly, he needed TIME to find Cas. Cas bolted, yes, and he probably had no idea, but I headcanon that Purgatory deliberately kept them apart for the year. Dean’s guilt/sins aren’t so big that he needs to spend more than a year there, since Purgatory apparently runs in real time, but he needed that time to come to terms with why he was looking for Cas and what that meant to him.

There’s a ton of amazing meta out there on the bit where Dean finally finds Cas, but the important thing is that he was totally willing to hear him out, even stopping Benny for bitching Cas out about running off. He offered Cas home and friendship and a hug. Everything from season 6 is forgiven unconditionally at last. When Dean says he can’t leave without Cas, he MEANS it. Whether his subconscious or something Purgatory suggested to him, he can only put things aside and leave if things are good with Cas, if Cas is coming home. Cas, like I said, understands Purgatory better because he’s an angel and if it’s not lore they know it’s something he intrinsically understands from being there. He can’t argue with Dean about it because Dean’s journey of recovery turns out to be via Cas.

When they get out and Cas stays behind, it breaks Dean, and that break can only be resolved when Cas shows him the truth. Like Cas, Dean leaves Purgatory a little broken because he didn’t wholly finish his penance, but Cas being back fixes it, and from that point on we get happy season 8 Dean for the middle of the season and it’s glorious, because we’re seeing him with all the weight on his soul scraped off. I think if Cas was Dean’s penance, he needed to come up with the fake memory not just because he couldn’t imagine Cas not wanting to be with him, but because of the way it undermines what he worked for for the whole year and destroys his whole mission, and therefore invalidates the cleansing he underwent there. It’s safe for him to find out how it really happened once Cas is actually back because, well, Cas is there, and that’s what he worked for. His comments on Cas getting out, though, do suggest that he knows it’s very wrong that Cas is out; he niggles at it until the truth comes out, and I think he could sense in a way that something about his Purgatory experience was still being undermined.

Basically, Cas ensured Dean got out by tricking the system. He knew Dean couldn’t leave without him but he knew his penance wasn’t over. So he let Dean believe he was going, right up literally until the last moment. It bothered me at first a little why Cas would go right to the portal with Dean but this makes sense. If Dean knew he wasn’t leaving the guilt would be back on his soul (as it was when he left and Cas didn’t), and therefore the portal would not deem him ready to leave and refuse to let him out. A catch 22 only solved by Cas lying to Dean while they were together in Purgatory and letting him think he was leaving with him.

Still, however messed up they were after, they both went INTO Purgatory in a much much worse headspace - even Cas in the brief moment where he had his memories but before he cured Sam was in a lousy headspace, hence doing something so self-destructive for the sake of making amends in the first place. So when they come out the other side, they were legitimately purified by Purgatory.

… I think that’s everything I discussed in the tags. :P

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