Don't make me lose you, too.
He whispers in his ear,
"Don’t hurt me. Don’t forget me.
Don’t hurt me. I’m still not put back together.”
Dean and Faith: Praying1x12 "Faith / 2x13 "House of the Holy" /
4x01 "Lazarus Rising" / 4x06 "Yellow Fever" /
4x18 "The Monster at the End of This Book" /
5x14 "My Bloody Valentine" / 5x16 "Dark Side of the Moon" /
6x03 "The Third Man" / 8x02 "What's up Tiger Mommy" /
8x16 "Remember the Titans" / 9x01 "I Think I'm Going to Like It Here"
Let’s talk about Dean and faith. Let’s talk about how he grew up being told that angels were watching over him and his brother and how he most probably stopped believing in angels, in good and in heaven when his mother died and along with her all normality, safety and the belief that "good things do happen".
Let’s talk about how Sam found a faith healer to save Dean from certain death and how Dean back then already didn’t think he deserved to be saved. Let’s talk about how he openly said to Roy that "he isn’t exactly a believer" and Roy just replied "You will be" and how in a way he was right. Let’s talk about Dean and Leyla and how they get to know each other in the first place: Because Sam tells Dean that maybe “it’s time to have a little faith”. Let’s talk about how guilty Dean feels when he realizes that Lelya won’t be saved by Roy and how he tells Leyla, “that he ain’t much of a praying type”, but that he "is going to pray for her" and she tells him "Well, there’s a miracle right there".
Let’s talk about how Sam has no problems believing in angels and gets really emotional when Dean tells him "that there is no such thing", that he "believes in reality", in what he can see and that he cannot believe, in angels or god or destiny, because they never crossed path with any of those things. Oh no, they hadn’t yet, but they would and one particular angel would end up their closest friend… Let’s talk about how in the very episode Sam wants to believe so bad that there is something bigger out there that could save him and he ends up being let down, that Dean for the first time starts taking into account that maybe there is something like “god’s will”.
Let’s talk about when Dean came back from hell and learnt that an angel - Castiel - had rescued him from hell, he would just say “get out of here, there’s no such thing” and Castiel was able to see right through Dean immediately knew that Dean’s problem was that "he has no faith" and that "he doesn’t think he deserves to be saved".
Let’s talk about how from that moment on and even though Dean continued to think that “angels are dicks”, that maybe Castiel sparked something within him, that has always been there, but has been buried: a tiny flame of faith.
let’s talk about how Dean starts praying. Not really believing in it, but doing it nonetheless and how his prayers are getting answered - by Cas - almost every single time. Let’s talk about how at first Dean was praying jokingly, how he didn’t truly ~mean it and how him saying "I’m not much of a praying type" turned into "I prayed to you Cas, every night".
Let’s talk about how he starts turning his face towards the sky and asking for help when he is at the end of his rope, despairing, crying. Opening up, making himself vulnerable, not liking it, because "to him it’s the same as begging", but doing it nonetheless. Let’s talk about how Joshua knew that Dean was losing faith, indicating that Dean did have faith all along, but was never okay with admiting it to himself, because it would be too painful to be let down.
So Dean continues praying, finds solace in it, a weird sort of relief and comfort. Let’s talk about how he prays to keep his brother save and how he prays, because he needs his best friend by his side. No matter whether in purgatory or on earth.
Let’s talk about all of this and more and then let’s talk about how Dean’s newfound faith doesn’t have anything to do with his outlook having changed and him suddenly believing in heaven or an absent god or in angels. No, he doesn’t believe in any of that, doesn’t have any faith in either of those things. No, the tiny bit of hope, the tiny bit of faith he carries within, close to his heart comes down to only one person: Castiel.
Sam + saving souls
I actually meant to make this a few weeks now since it just wouldn’t get out of my mind again. We all know that season 8 and 9 deal heavily with the topic of souls - much like season 6. So when I rewatched ‘Caged Heat’ the scenery in the first two gifs remembered me of a similar scene in ‘Taxi Driver’.
Rather dark scene, a woman imprisioned and Sam has her fate in his hands.
I’m not sure if the writers meant to parallel the scene but either way it says a lot about Sam’s growth. In 06x10 we have Sam, an absolute rational person who only cares about himself owing to the absence of his soul. He simply doesn’t care what happens to the djinn; on their way to eventually recover Sam’s soul and killing Crowley, she just might get in their way to achieve their goal.
In ‘Taxi Driver’ Sam is in hell, on his way to rescue Bobby’s soul when he’s approached by the soul of a dark haired girl who looks a lot like the djinn in 06x10. Sam, being disturbed and scared by those impressions of hell, doesn’t know how he could save her - in addition to his weakened conditions through the first trial - he has to leave her behind. Since 08x10 Sam and Dean only have each other again after they issue the ultimatum to cut the ties with Benny and Amelia. Especially after Sam started with the trials the brothers get dependent on each other again; Sam because of his worsening conditions and Dean because he still sees himself responsible for Sam’s well-being. The result is that he can’t save her alone. He’s not the one she waited for - not the one that could’ve saved her, not now anyway.
Then in ‘Mother’s Little Helper’, after Sam finally put Dean in his place by telling him that he has to stop making decisions for him which he’d never agree to, Sam is able to save these trapped souls all by himself. It’s not just that his body recovered from the trials by now, Sam is no longer under the impression that he can’t do anything without his brother watching over him, since a long time he is forced to do something alone and he is not only killing those demons, but he also manages to save those human souls - something they weren’t able to do in a long time. He finally accomplishes to free those souls.
So this is basically me trying to say that after his time of being soulless, having hallucinations and being dependent on his brother, Sam is finally at a point where he can make decisions for himself again and that he can be proud of himself.
Oh I like the idea of the Djinn, particularly because she was also the one who attacked Dean in Exile on Main Street, which would tie in wonderfully with the idea of Sam grabbing back control and saving souls. While she isn’t the same actress as the one in season 6, the visual certainly rings true. And thematically, djinns would fit perfectly here as they are warp reality and tying in with the whole book-not-matching-cover idea of season 9. Also, since we are getting a Sam with soul basically acting like soulless!Sam by all indications, this is a very interesting way of looking at it.
This speculation/meta is likely a result of a desperate mind longing for spoilers/something and anything new to write about, but I was thinking back on the 10X03 preview we were shown at SDCC, and then on the spoilers we’ve had so far that Sam’s storyline will be one of heading…
This speculation/meta is likely a result of a desperate mind longing for spoilers/something and anything new to write about, but I was thinking back on the 10X03 preview we were shown at SDCC, and then on…
This speculation/meta is likely a result of a desperate mind longing for spoilers/something and anything new to write about, but I was thinking back on the 10X03 preview we were shown at SDCC, and then on the spoilers we’ve had so far…
Love what is said above. In addition, the most obvious instances of foreshadowing of demon!dean in s9 were Dean looking in a mirror and Perseus defeated Medusa by looking at her through a mirror and was able to behead her this way.
Medusa’s power was to turn men into stone. Symbolically, Dean’s gazing into the mirror, looking at himself, as his soul turned to stone/ became devoid of feelings, could be taken as him causing his own destruction.
Medusa’s severed head behind Sam could therefore potentially foreshadow Sam being the one to remove the cause of Dean’s soul turning to stone.
Never ending list of heartbreaking scenes (9.12) 3/∞
↳ So, what -- we're not family now?
You can see how much effort Sam needed to not break, he wants this over as well, he wants them to be brothers again. But he knows it will do no good, he knows they can’t just 'put a couple W's on the board and we get past all this’. Although he wishes they could.
And Dean? He doesn’t know what’s right and what’s wrong anymore, he is lost, but he wants back, he wants his brother, and even though Sam isn’t offering him that, he takes what there is. He swallows his hopes and nods, because if this is what’s left, so he’ll have it.
I always loved how this scene was left open to interpretation. To me it never read like the sentence finished as “… we cannot be brothers anymore.” though. It always seemed to me, as Yael says, that Sam realises it will never be truly right between them until Dean realises why Sam is so upset. That Sam intends this -like the kitchen convo- to be a wake-up call for Dean. And I fully sympathise with Sam’s intent here.
What I think he fails to realise in his very understandable anger is the extent of damage Kevin’s death did to Dean’s already ginormous failure complex. That he would not be jolted into realising how he took away Sam’s agency like Sam intends for him to, because in the tsunami of guilt washing over him, Dean would only ever interpret this as confirmation that he is unloved and unable to protect anyone.
What I loved about this season is how incredibly murky and human Sam and Dean’s choices were. Of course Dean wants to save his brother. Of course Sam wants to open his brother’s eyes. But their actions had devastating consequences for the other. Consequences neither of them ever wanted. ‘Cause no matter what, they love each other.
Also I love how the consequences were structured in terms of the usual supernatural alignment of their characters. Sam used to be the boy with the demon blood. The one with hell as a part of his being. Dean was the unwilling Vessel of angels. The one who would stop at nothing to save his brother from the clutches of hell. Season 9 flipped this around completely. Sam became the unwilling host of an angel and is now stopping at nothing to save his brother from the clutches of hell. Dean is now the one with hell as a part of his being. The boy with the demon soul.
I cannot wait for October to see how it continues.
"why do you like dean winchester?" [opens 63 slide per point presentation] [pulls out index cards] [places graphs on stands in front] [carefully arranges posters] [clears throat] why, friend, i am so glad you asked
↳ This- it won't last. You are living in a dream world.
I was talking to Miri ( laoih) about this scene, and she pointed out that right after he hears that, he touches his left palm, the one with the scar that Dean sewed up, that always brought him back to reality. Sam hears that, and he knows, he knows that in a way, he lives in dream world, and that it won’t last, that he needs to get back to reality. To a painful world in which he has lost everyone he ever loved.
What you’re saying fits with the fact that Jared didn’t like this story arc. I think that in a way he sees it like you. it was, as you said, a rose tainted cage. He was far from everything that makes him Sam, the hunting, or the academia and study, neither. He got away from everything, just to get locked in another cage he’s build with his own hands
*appears* first impression: Great meta, I assumed you must be a really interesting person I'd like to know a bit better that still hasn't changed one bit but now I have to add that I know you're an absolute sweetheart, clever and a really amazing person in general ♥ *runs away again*
Nina….. You are way too sweet!!!!! I loved your blog from the moment I found it, and you know I follow very few people. And gosh I had so much fun fangirling over football this summer, epic!!! And now that I am truly getting to know you: the feeling is mutual!!!!